Thursday, June 27, 2013

Celebrity Challenge 2: Submitted by Nick Blaemire

Wow!  So many great responses to our first challenge (including two full songs)!

Our second challenge comes to us from actor and composer/lyricist Nick Blaemire:

Write the "I want" song for Kim Kardashian's dastardly world takeover musical.

Nick Blaemire wrote the music and lyrics for the 2008 musical, Glory Days, and has appeared in Godspell and Cry Baby on Broadway.  His band, Nick Blaemire and the Hustle regularly performs around the New York City area.

6 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. I tried to do music this time, with hopes that people will put up lyrics. The music is on YouTube at:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0Bav0wi62A

    I gave it a very tentative hook idea of "In the kingdom of Kanye and Kim" [which might potentially be at the music at 51 seconds where shown on the screen if someone wants to use that as a title]

    (You can email me at dylan43rd@aol.com if you want an mp3 of this to try to work with it.)
    Or you can contact me at my blog which is at
    http://music-and-comedy.blogspot.com/2013/05/highlights-of-2012-2013-season.html

    Thanks again, everyone at NYPL for hosting this.

    Sincerely,
    Fred Landau

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  3. I have written a song! I want someone to sing it! I have the sheet music and everything ready. So contact me at my email: quenton55@gmail.com or find me on twitter: QuentonEllis596 if you are interested in singing the song I have wrote for the Dastardly Kim Kardashian "Want" song!

    "Where I'm Meant To Be".
    Music and lyrics by: Quenton Ellis.

    Kim: (Spoken) I'm not usually the type to cuss up a storm, but FUCK all this bullshit! I am tired of not speaking my mind!

    (Sung)

    Fuck the sex tape
    Fuck the sex tape!
    I gotta have more than a "one night stand"
    Fuck the cynics
    Fuck the cynics
    I'm going solo and don't need a band!

    No more quiet LA for me
    Give me the USA
    Then to HELL with Kris Humphries!

    (Spoken) I don't even care anymore about what I say! This is my life, and I can say whatever I want to. And if you don't like it, suck it, bitch!

    (Sung)

    I've gotta go where I'm meant to be
    I'm not content with all the "glam"
    I'm kinda done with the sick games
    Are my tits and ass all that give me fame?
    If life is a stage and everyone's watching
    Let's make this the best scene they'll ever see!
    So come on, world!
    Take me from where I am
    To where I'm meant to be!

    Fuck the perfume
    Fuck the perfume
    I've gotta have more than the sweet smell of success
    Fuck that Kanye
    Fuck the baby
    I'm going solo so they gotta go, I guess?

    No more quiet mommy for me!
    Give me all power an authority
    And DAMMIT I'm a commie!

    I've got beauty
    I've got power
    I've got money
    I've got family
    I've got everything most people only dream of
    But screw the power
    Screw the money
    There's only one thing that I really REALLY need!

    (Pause to think)

    A miracle.

    (Spoken) No! I've got to be joking.

    (Sung)
    I don't need a miracle!
    I just want to rule the world!

    ( Spoken) No. That can't be what I want.

    (Sung)

    I don't want to rule the world
    I just want a clean slate!

    (Spoken) Geez, Kim, you've got to be going crazy!


    (Sung)
    I don't need a clean slate!
    I just need to prove that
    I'm a good person!
    Oh, screw good people
    Screw the nice girl!
    The thing I need most is to hurl...

    (She pukes)

    Screw the "Cookie diet"
    Screw the "Quick trim"
    I don't need to look slim
    I've just gotta find my "True Reflection" Ha!
    Screw getting old!
    I don't want to get old!
    Maybe I will strike "Gold" HA!!

    I've gotta find life beyond cameras and acting
    And TV screens
    And fashion magazines
    And pretty dresses
    And reality messes
    And drama and sex
    And perfumes and Rappers and lawsuits
    And stupid baby names
    And seventy-two day marriages that I use simply to get more money!

    I've got to find where I'm meant to be!
    Where I'm meant to be!
    Where I'm meant to be!

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  4. Here is a lyric. Hope someone out there can write the music, message me at jen@jenshuber.com


    "MEENY"
    Lyrics by Jen Shuber

    EENY, MEENY, MINY, MOE
    I’M A STARLETTE, FEEL MY FLOW
    HEAR ME HOLLER, “I WANT DOUGH”
    EENY, MEENY, MINY, MOE

    EENY, QUEENY, PICK A FIGHT
    MOTHER, SISTERS, Y’ALL BACK BITE
    CONMAN, YEEZY, LOUIS V. DON
    SAVE ME, HOLD ME, PROTECT ME, C’MON

    K TO THE I TO THE M IS MY NAME
    PICK IT UP, BACK IT UP, YA’LL OBSESSED WITH MY FAME
    YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO BE SWIMMIN’ IN THE FISHBOWL
    YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO SHARE YOUR WHOLE SIZZ-OUL
    SO KEEP THE GREENBACKS COMIN’
    FOR THE IMAGE YOU ARE LOVIN’
    KEEP THE GREENBACKS COMIN’
    FOR MORE PUSHIN’ AND MORE SHOVIN’
    AND DON’T SLAM THIS JAM
    ‘CAUSE YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHO I TRULY AM

    EENY MEENY, MY EMPIRE
    MADE YOU LOOK, I LIT THIS FIRE
    HOLLER, HOLLER BABY’S GOT BACK
    COUGHT YOU STARING, NOW WHO’S WACK?

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  5. Please get in touch at richardjplotkin@gmail.com if you're interested in working on this. Lyrics are all caps, book is normal.

                            (Lights up. At the back door of William and Kate's home,
                            Kensington Palace. KIM rings the security intercom.)


                            KATE
                    Hello?

                            KIM
    I WAS READING MY US WEEKLY, AND GETTING QUITE ENRAGED,
    THEN I NOTICED A SHORT STORY ON HOW YOU GOT ENGAGED.
    YOU GOT A REAL PRINCE CHARMING; I NEED TO KNOW YOUR TRICK
    SO KATE I'M GONNA MAKE YOU MY NUMBER ONE CHICK!

        YOU GET TO BE A PRINCESS
        YOU GET TO HAVE A THRONE
        PLEASE LET ME IN TO SEE YOU,
        WITHOUT YOU I'M ON MY OWN.

                            KATE
                    Who is this?

                            KIM
    MY MANAGER -- MY MOM -- SAID KIM YOU NEED A BIT MORE CLASS
    YOU CAN'T JUST LIVE FOREVER OFF YOUR SUPER-JUICY ASS
    SO YOU CAN TEACH ME MANNERS, AND GO THROUGH EVERY RULE
    AS I TRY TO GET YOU TANNER, TIPPIN' COSMOS AT THE POOL

        YOU GET TO BE THE PRINCESS
        BUT WE GET TO SHARE THE THRONE
        PLEASE LET ME IN TO HELP YOU,
        WITHOUT ME YOU'RE ALL ALONE.

                            KATE
                    I'm calling security.

                            KIM
                    Wait!

            MY FIRST TIME AT KENSINGTON PALACE
            THE GUARDSMEN WERE BURSTING WITH MALICE
            ON MY SECOND ATTEMPT TO GAIN ENTRY
            I GOT TOSSED TO THE GROUND BY A SENTRY

            THEY WERE REALLY ALOOF WHEN I FELL OFF THE ROOF
            AND GAVE LITTLE REBUKE WHEN I TRAMPLED THE DUKE
            BUT THEY GOT REALLY MEAN WHEN I MENTIONED THE QUEEN
            IT'S A FLUKE THAT I GOT HERE UNSEEN!

    QUITE FRANKLY, KATE, I'LL TELL YOU, I WANT YOU ON MY SHOW
    WE'VE GOT A LOT IN COMMON, WE'VE GOT A LOT OF DOUGH
    WE GOTTA TEACH OUR CHILDREN HOW TO HANDLE ALL THIS POWER
    SO HOW ABOUT WE GIVE THEM BOTH A FANCY GOLDEN SHOWER

        I GET TO BE A PRINCESS
        I GET TO HAVE A THRONE
        NOW I'M COMIN' IN
        THAT'S MY ROYAL DECREE
        SO THROW DOWN YOUR SCONE
        AND OPEN UP TO ME
        OR I'LL TAKE IT ON MY OWN
       
                            (Sirens. Shouts from the Queen's guard.
                            Blackout.)

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  6. Hey everyone! I have finished my song!

    I decided to sing it myself, maybe someday soon I could have a very brave lady sing it!

    "Where I'm Meant To Be"
    Written by: Quenton Ellis.
    Performed by: Quenton Ellis.

    https://soundcloud.com/quenton-ellis/where-im-meant-to-be-kim

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